The rumors are true. I have a boyfriend! He is charming, cute and quite the rock star between the sheets. I can’t believe I got this lucky, but I’m here to tell you that you can get a hunk like mine; as long as you follow my advice. For starters, let me tell you how we met.
I spent several months trying to sell myself to the opposite sex by creating profiles that displayed my best photos (so what if they were from seven years ago?) and boasted claims of humor, intellect, and overall wonderfulness. If you ask me, I looked pretty darn desirable. Much to my dismay, the only guys who contacted me were either married old men or college dropouts.
I decided my profiles were too far-fetched and wondered if the “good” guys had assumed I was lying about myself. So, I opted for the more realistic approach. I posted a nice, recent picture of myself and listed all of my true, positive qualities. Maybe, just maybe, I would find a guy who wanted to date a pie baking, Pilates master. Nope, no dice. I did get a response from a guy who owned a bakery asking if I wanted a job.
I was fed up and feeling down about myself so I deleted everything and started over. I created a funny self-deprecating rant profile. I posted a picture of myself in sweats with no makeup and listed my hobbies as “complaining about the weather and bitching”. My headline read “looking for any guy who will date amess like me”. Well… wouldn’t you know it, I got 19 emails that week! Of course, some of them were still from pathetic losers but, lo and behold, some of them were good looking, single men with jobs. Most of them could even speak English.
Of course, I was flabbergasted and assumed they were writing to me as a joke but I played along and wrote back. Turns out, guys like to feel good about themselves — and by putting myself down they got that ego boost they needed to be the one to build me back up.
My soon to be boyfriend assumed I just had an awesome sense of humor, which I guess I do on certain days, and found my profile to be quite entertaining. After sending several emails back and forth, we made plans to meet at a restaurant. Let’s just say the rest is history.