Heartening Advice Post Break-Up

If your heart is aching from a relationship that is breaking, take consolation in knowing that you are not alone. Many relationships fail. Finding out that the two of you no longer fit together is actually a blessing rather than a curse. Dating is a testing ground for lifelong commitment.

How do you proceed after a break-up? The first order of business is to reconnect with yourself. No one else can love you if you don’t love yourself. Spend some time alone, with the idea that you will enjoy yourself. Pick a solitary activity that you used to enjoy, and revel in the fact that you have this time alone. You may be surprised at how much of your identity had been lost in the relationship.

Take advantage of your new single status and examine your personality as closely and as objectively as possible. List your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, and your dreams and desires. In essence, you’ll be building a personal profile that will build your confidence and get you ready to jump back into dating.

Call or email friends or family members who you’ve fallen out of touch with during your last relationship. Surrounding yourself with people who truly care about you will give you that support network you need to mend your broken heart. True friends listen without offering advice. They can help you to focus on the positive things in your life while you heal and get back on your feet.

Keeping busy is another way to combat sorrow. Too much time on your hands can lead to crying jags and pity parties. Pour yourself into a hobby or sport. Dig into the project list that’s been hanging on the refrigerator for months. Volunteer at a local charity, or throw yourself into your work for a while to keep yourself occupied.

Charities make great healing grounds when you sign up to be a volunteer. Not only will you stay busy, but you’ll likely meet some people who are much worse off than you are. Nothing washes away trouble better than helping others handle their troubles. It’s a winning situation for everyone involved.

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