Like all social interactions there is an art to chatting online. While some are more approaches are more effective than others.
We’ve collected a handful to be used as jumping off point. The key here is not that these are some brilliant silver bullets, but rather jumping off points to allow for conversation and connection.
1. “Hi, can I buy you a drink? No? What a cheap date”
2. “I’m new at this; does this font makes me look fat?”
3. “Does anyone here believe in cyber ghosts?”
4. “I’m a Virgo; what’s YOUR sign? Ah, I don’t really care was just trying to engage you”
5. “What does it means when you dream about your teeth falling out?”
6. “I love what you’ve done with your hair!”
Once a discussion gets going, numerous scenarios arise. It’s within your power to keep things civil, interesting and fun. Try these come-backs:
1. Someone is trying to impress you intellectually. Say: “You could probably beat me at chess any day, but I could kick your BUTT in a fight.”
2. Someone is bragging. You can say to the group: “Ever notice how the package is always more interesting than the contents?”
3. Someone starts to get out of line. Type in a large font:”TEACHER’S HERE!”
4. Someone gets long-winded. You can always pipe in: “I see a light at the end of the tunnel…I hope it’s not a train.”
5. Some particularly stupid things are said. You say: “The more I observe, the smarter my cat gets.”
6. Someone criticizes your grammar. Reply: “Better a flawed diamond than a perfect pebble.”
7. Things get boring. Type: “Yawn”. “Zzzzz” next. Then “Snore” if it continues.
8. During a long hiatus: “Has the well run dry?” Or type the beginning of a joke such as “A blond, a priest and a rabbi go into a bar…”
9. A discussion starts to attack personalities; diffuse it with, “Why don’t we all just do the hokey pokey?”
10. You take the underdog’s viewpoint and they thank you. Type: “Who’s yer daddy?”
11. Someone wants to argue with you and you’ve had enough. Tell them: “I’m taking my crayons and going home!”
12. Or try to float a risky test balloon: “Sext me if I’m wrong, but are you flirting with me?” It’s win win.
When you exit the chat room there are a couple of ways to leave a lasting impression:
1. Learn to say goodbye in another language: “Adios!” or “Sayonara!”
2. Bless everyone with something like this: “May everyday of your life be worst than the next”, and leave them scratching their heads.
