Mastering the art of online rejections is, of course, easier than that of real-life rejection. It seems a much more savory prospect to be able to hide anonymously in cyberspace behind a firewall, than have to meet a reject-to-be in person, or even make that unpleasant phone call. It only takes a pinch of gumption and a dash of resolve to bring down the ax in the virtual world, and perhaps much less than that. For many, saying “Sorry, bub” or “Sorry babe” with a curt word and a click is all too enjoyable, in that it’s a clean break that allows us the ability to get on with life. Thank you, World Wide Web!
For those with a heart, or who are overly empathic or sentimental, the notion of delivering that severing blow is harder than it seems on the surface. It doesn’t have to be a painful experience for either party, however, if the right sense of diplomacy and care is applied. For one, you don’t have to be vindictive or sadistic about letting someone down who’s failed your version of The Dating Game. You could soften the blow with positive commentary on the person in the form of a compliment, or with advice or assessment of why they failed.
Here are some of the biggest reasons online suitors or potential g/f’s fail:
- One of the biggest is being overanxious and coming on too strong.
- Revealing strange personality traits or beliefs too soon, with the inevitable “creepy” effect.
- Acting possessive or jealous (never a good thing at any stage).
- Lies or misleading statements, of course.
- One party realizing the chemistry is no good.
It’s these things and more that challenge us, and make us lean towards becoming more “relationship capable”, and becoming better at the art of online rejections. But, some people just need more help than others, inevitably. A key lesson worth heeding is to never bring someone in too far, too fast. Many people have been burned in numerous ways by those who prey on the gullible in the (online) dating scene, never to get back precious things like time, money and life itself. Cutting off that jerk who can’t take a clue may just save your life, in extreme cases. But, mostly it just pays in emotional and mental silver dollars to be able to toughen up your skin and deliver a clean – and fair – blow.
The lucky ones – and I assume that means most of us – don’t have to get caught in sticky situations with creepy or overbearing dates who can’t get a clue. Most of us generally find who we like and stick with them, naturally. Additionally, many have re-entered the dating scene after years in marriages or long-term relationships and are newbies to online dating aspects, so may inadvertently slight someone through lack of Web know-how. Mastering the art of online rejections takes a combination of interpersonal tact as well as social network website skills.
It’s the younger set that’s most likely going to be encountering problems related to online courtship and rejection, though. I’m speaking of the “sexting” generation. These are the people born and bred into cyberspace, and who have no notion of a world without the internet, where the telephone was the holy grail of courtship communication. It’s these ones who must be savvy enough with the myriad Web and Internet devices and applications, but also to be human and diplomatic enough to be able to say “enough is enough” without being too much of a bastard about it, before they can say “I’ve mastered the art of online rejections!”