If your heart is aching from a relationship that is breaking, take consolation in knowing that you are not alone. Many relationships fail. Finding out that the two of you no longer fit together is actually a blessing rather than a curse. Dating is a testing ground for lifelong commitment.

How do you proceed after a break-up? The first order of business is to reconnect with yourself. No one else can love you if you don’t love yourself. Spend some time alone, with the idea that you will enjoy yourself. Pick a solitary activity that you used to enjoy, and revel in the fact that you have this time alone. You may be surprised at how much of your identity had been lost in the relationship.

Take advantage of your new single status and examine your personality as closely and as objectively as possible. List your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, and your dreams and desires. In essence, you’ll be building a personal profile that will build your confidence and get you ready to jump back into dating.

Call or email friends or family members who you’ve fallen out of touch with during your last relationship. Surrounding yourself with people who truly care about you will give you that support network you need to mend your broken heart. True friends listen without offering advice. They can help you to focus on the positive things in your life while you heal and get back on your feet.

Keeping busy is another way to combat sorrow. Too much time on your hands can lead to crying jags and pity parties. Pour yourself into a hobby or sport. Dig into the project list that’s been hanging on the refrigerator for months. Volunteer at a local charity, or throw yourself into your work for a while to keep yourself occupied.

Charities make great healing grounds when you sign up to be a volunteer. Not only will you stay busy, but you’ll likely meet some people who are much worse off than you are. Nothing washes away trouble better than helping others handle their troubles. It’s a winning situation for everyone involved.

Sex Pheromones are chemicals released by many insects, plants, and animals and people to alert members of the opposite sex that they are available and interested in finding a mate. Pheromones have no detectable scent and are for all practical purposes invisible.

Though they are scentless, pheromones most definitely exist; they play a very important role in dating. The process of releasing pheromones, of course, is totally unconscious: people cannot deliberately release sex pheromones. With modern science, however, this is fast changing.

Smell is definitely an important part of meeting someone; smell can be alluring or off-putting. Many men and women use cologne or perfume to make themselves smell nice. Smells from scented oils like perfumes are attractive to others, which explains why so many choose to wear them when dating. Like the old jingle goes, though, “A little dab’ll do ya”: perfumes and colognes (particularly cologne) can be overpowering when used excessively.

A smell which is alluring in small doses quickly becomes nauseating when its wearer has applied too much. This problem is worse in confined areas like cars, so care should be taken. Of course, not all perfumes and colognes are created equally, so finding the right scent is important.

Smells don’t have to be overwhelming to have an effect. Some people find the natural scent of their partner to be more alluring than the smell of a heavy perfume. People are actually able to smell their compatibility with partners in their sweat. Scientists have discovered that women find the smell of people they are genetically compatible with sexually attractive.

In fact, scientists showed that the best way to predict whether a couple’s relationship would last was by having the partners smell shirts that each other had worn; if they found each others’ smells attractive (without knowing they were smelling their partner), the couple was much more likely to stay together than if they did not. Research shows that people who are likely to be compatible release pheromones that attract each other.

The attractive power of pheromones is a good argument for going light on the perfume. After all, if your natural scent helps to attract the right guy or girl, masking that smell with different smells might attract the wrong one! On the other hand, if your natural pheromones tend to attract jerks, perhaps it might be an interesting experiment to try wearing different scents and trying to meet new partners.

Here’s the deal, some people just don’t know how to make a great online profile. This can be disastrous since the most of the dating world is done over the internet. Fear no more. Here are five helpful tips to save you from humiliation:

1) Chose a respectable profile picture:

How do you feel when you log onto your new co-worker’s profile and see a fugly picture of them, unshaven, and completely slovenly? Not good, right? First impressions are important.

2) Be selective about your personal interests:

How many people do you think want to know about your fascination with large plushy stuffed animals or how you get frustrated because you have never been able to color inside the lines no matter how hard you try. You’re a twenty-eight year old man! If anything just write “I like stuff”.

3) Less is more:

De-clutter. Stickers, games, videos, random photographs and wallpapers can be downloaded in seconds and applied in the blink of an eye. That’s what makes it so dangerous. In no time you can have a profile crowded with unnecessary YouTube videos, your favorite Hello Kitty stickers and a link to buy the cheapest sausage from Germany. Not good.

4) Your real friends don’t have to be your online friends:

You can have friends in the real world that don’t necessarily need to be friends on your social or networking profile. Why? Think about this – if one of your good friends is willing to embarrass you in front of a crowd at the local diner by telling them all about your fear of sandpaper (it’s a valid fear), then what do you think he’ll say when he has a potential audience of hundreds?

5) Secrets don’t make the right kind of friends.

The internet is pretty big place, global even. Its best NOT to throw any secrets onto your profile. How would your best friend feel if you posted in your latest What Are You Doing post: “my best friend just told me his girlfriend has a problem wetting the bed. My response – water bed.” Think before you post.

The ultimate goal of dating is to find someone with whom you are compatible, someone to share your life. When you are single with kids, however, there is a more immediate question — exactly when to drop the kid-bomb.

When is the right time? Truthfully, everyone has a different opinion. Many people feel that being up front and letting the other know of your circumstances immediately is the only course of action. This gives the other one the chance to back out before anyone develops any attachments.

Others think that waiting to find out if they are actually interested in pursuing a relationship is best. After all, why tell someone too much information if you are not really interested in them to begin with. The downside to this is that it can easily backfire on you. You become interested in them and when they find out you have kids, they disappear.

The last thing you want to do, however, is not tell someone you have children when they bring the subject up to you. Lying about having children is a no-no and will be the downfall of any relationship. Thinking that you will get them to fall in love with you before you hit them with the kid-bomb is a big mistake and it will not work, not even in a romantic comedies.

You go to a party with your best friend, who is less attractive, not as smart as you, only to find that she is the one getting all of the attention and phone numbers while you are left at the bar alone… Instead of being depressed and resentful, learn from what she is doing right. Chances are that your friend exudes confidence and knows how to work a room. By following these simple steps you can change your dating prospects dramatically.

1. Dress for Success

Part of exuding confidence has to do with how you dress. Studies have shown that the better people are dressed, the more confident they feel. It make sense that if you like the clothes you’re wearing and think that you look good in them, then you’ll naturally feel better and be more upbeat. Not only this, but dressing well shows other people in the room that you care about the way you look and have good hygiene habits. Clothes can also give hints into a person’s socioeconomic background. These are all traits that can make or break the deal.

2. Improve Your Body Language

Body language conveys a lot about a person’s confidence. For instance, placing your hands in your pockets shows others that you are insecure and uncomfortable. Humans instinctively hide their hands when they feel uneasy or nervous. Exposing your hands for everyone to see shows confidence. Also, putting your hands into your front pockets can cause you to slouch, which is another sign of insecurity. Another way to convey confidence through body language is to keep from fidgeting.

Moving around a lot shows other people in the room that you’re nervous and uncomfortable, making them wary of approaching you. Finally, do not fold your arms. Folding your arms is a sign that you are on guard and unapproachable. Take a look at the security guards at the front door of the club. Chances are that they are standing there with their arms folded, looking menacing. By folding your arms and walking around the room, you are projecting the same image to all the other singles in the room, practically screaming to them that they should stay away and avoid you at all costs.

3. Communicate with Ease

Finally, if you are approached by another person or take the initiative to talk to someone you’re interested in, do not blow the opportunity when you open your mouth to speak. The first thing you need to avoid is talking fast. As people get nervous, the speed of their speech increases, making it hard for them to think coherently and to be understood.

Talk calmly and think about what you are saying before blurting something out. Not only will this calm you, but also the other person. Next, make eye contact and smile. Avoiding eye contact is a sure sign that you’re either being insincere or nervous. Neither of these traits is desirable. Finally, take the time to listen to what the other person is saying. A lot of times, people are so caught up with thinking about what they are going to say that they don’t pay attention to what the other person is saying. The result is an awkward conversation for the two of you that doesn’t go anywhere.

By following these three simple tips, you’re sure to improve your body language and confidence. Hopefully, your confidence will radiate throughout the room and help to land you more dates.

Every place that you go is an opportunity to find yourself Mr. Right (or at least Mr. Close-Enough-To-Mr. Right-To-Have-Fun-With-For-Awhile). I can attest to the fact that all of the usual places are so full of the “Huntin’-Ladies” that the pickin’s are slim… so, stay out of the usual places (that would be the dog-parks, the gym, and bars… unless you enjoy competing with size 0’s). Besides, those usual places are usually boring anyway, along with the men who go there.

I consider myself an interesting and unique individual with an enquiring mind and okay looks (I’m not break-the-mirror-ugly, but, I’m also not drop-dead gorgeous. Hey, I’m honest). You’re probably a lot like me or else you wouldn’t be reading this. I will not steer you wrong. So, suck in your gut, stand up straight, and get the stones it takes to go looking in some very unique places.

Try a hospital. The next time one of your co-workers is in the hospital, volunteer to take the flowers and a get well card on behalf of everybody at work (of course, make them all chip in some money and sign the card… you aren’t made of money). Ask directions of every male nurse you can (they’re not ALL gay) along with a few doctors. These guys love to help and show off their intellect.

Try funeral homes and cemeteries. If you are a very caring individual, these are fabulous places to be to let people know that you care. Let them know you’re a good soul. I’ve gotten a lot of phone numbers that way and met some really super guys.

Currently, I’m engaged. I met him at a geeky meeting for people who like to do historic re-creatioan (those are the nerds who dress up in costume from the dark agesh). Yeah, kind of boring, I know, but, I did score myself an original guy by trying something different. You can, too! Have fun, take a chance, and be unique!

The newest relationship litmus test is emerging from Facebook. Every Facebook user has the option of putting their current relationship status on their profile page. You’d think the only options would be “Single“, “In a Relationship”, or “Married”, but, as most things in life, it gets deeper than just that.

Options such as these are available as well as “It’s Complicated”, “Open Relationship”, “Engaged”, and even “Widowed”. No matter what stage of a relationship you are in, the world will know about it.

There is a term that has formed recently that helps define any relationship. Whenever someone is talking about his or her new partner, the question is always asked: “Are you two Facebook official?”

Facebook official means that you have put onto your profile that you are in a relationship with a particular person. This, in the world of teenagers, is the most legit proclamation anyone can make about their dating life.

This also adds pressure. Once you put that on your profile page, all of your friends, as well as those of your special someone, will know the status of your love life. The word is out. If things don’t work out between you two, everyone will know as well. This will result in a lot of wall posts and relationship status comments.

If you’re not ready for that kind of attention about your new catch, don’t agree to put it on Facebook. Also, if you are not willing to be viewed as solely one man/woman’s partner, do not publish it. If you meet a cute guy at the grocery store and he finds you on Facebook, he will soon be put off by your “In A Relationship” status.

Facebook relationship status’s are as legitimate as any declaration can be. If it is not “Facebook official”, then technically you two are not official. Beware if your special someone is hesitant to put up a relationship status on his site, he or she may not be as serious as you are.

Dating for Believers

Finding love can be scary enough. There are dreams, hopes, and expectations that you put into the hands of another person. Finding someone who not only shares your spiritual beliefs, but is at the same level of spirituality that you desire, makes the search for love that much more challenging.

For most believers in search of romance, a potential partner must have a strong sense of their beliefs and serious grounding in spirituality. In faith-based love as with anything else in life, you have to look for it in target rich areas. For example, if you want groceries, you’d shop at the grocery store. If you wanted furniture, you’d go to the furniture store. It makes sense then, when searching for a faith-based date or life partner, you’d search for them in a forum where you are most likely to have your spiritual standards in a partner met.

A couple of the more popular faith-based dating sites are Christianlifestyle.com, and the nationally recognized Jdate.com. Christianlifestyle.com is a very straightforward experience for the user. Just as a church singles mixer is the opposite of looking for love in say, a bar or nightclub, Christianlifestyle.com wants to separate themselves from other dating sites. With no “bells and whistles”, the site simply presents a free sign up area, as well as pictures and blurbs of other Christians looking for love. The site is very clean, and easy to understand. Just like every church should be, the site is very welcoming to all.

Jdate.com is the leading website for those of Jewish faith looking for partners to share their beliefs and lifestyles with. Unlike ChristianLifestyle.com’s singles-mixer feel, Jdate.com would be the equivalent to an all-inclusive resort for those of Jewish faith. The website host videos, live events, a calendar and synagogue directory, a magazine, and a blog, just to name a few features. Jdate.com wants to see to it that there is no excuse for Jewish singles to be lonely or spiritually un-fed in any way.

As our society evolves and looks deeply inward for things that matter to them most, the faith-based dating trend will grow.

People are no longer willing to settle or hide their beliefs. Faith-based dating sites are wonderful, efficient tools to help a person with their romantic and social goals and complete a life based upon one’s most treasured beliefs.

In the past, in order to find that special someone you had to go to through the grueling process of dating – a lot. With the onset of the speed dating phenomenon and the subsequent age of internet dating, all that may be in the past.

Speed dating is, in short, a large grouping of single people who spend 3-10 minutes with each other on “dates”. If one party considered it a success, they take down their date’s name and then move on to the next. At the end of the event, each participant submits a list of the dates they would like to pursue. If there is a match, contact information is exchanged via the event organizers.

Speed dating first appeared in Beverly Hills in 1998. It was originally created to help Jewish singles meet potential marriage partners, but thanks to popularity on hit television shows and movies, it has become more mainstream with people of all walks of life.

Following the onset of speed dating, a similar, more technologically advanced method of getting a date was found with the invention of the internet dating sites. Online dating is becoming more and more popular by the day, with people of all ages and backgrounds. It allows the user to upload little more than a picture and a short self-description before being able to search the thousands of other members.

While critics will state that getting to know someone requires more than a “picture and a paragraph”, the truth is that we make judgements in real life based on little more than how someone looks and the first thing out of their mouth. How is simply presenting this online any different?

Match.com was one of the sites that headed off the explosion of internet dating and it is doing much more than just providing members with a list of other members. Users enter in their preferences for dates, both the superficial and the deep criteria, and the website matches them with similar users.

Of course, it didn’t take long for free dating services to pop up, relying solely on the advertisements to pay the bills. Singlesnet.com provides users with a totally free membership to meet other local singles. In addition to the free sites, specialty dating sites are becoming more and more popular, like Jdate.com to meet other Jewish singles. Dating sites that cater to a specific demographic are becoming more in demand.

Speed dating and internet dating are really one in the same, the only difference being the face to face interaction of speed dating which some may consider a positive while others, a downfall. The truth is that neither is better than the other; both are legitimate ways to meet singles and start lasting friendships.

What were you doing last Friday night when all your friends were out on the town, living it up with their hot dates? Ladies, were you sitting in a dark room with shades drawn, eating a pint of ice cream, and watching reruns? Guys, were you eating day old pizza, drinking flat beer, and surfing porn? If you answered “yes,” and presumably didn’t want to, maybe you need to take a look in the mirror and see if you have crossed the abyss of loneliness and have drifted into the realm of the undateable.

How do you know if you’re undateable? Here are three sure signs for men and women that can prove that you are in fact undateable. You just have to be perfectly honest with yourself when evaluating your date-ability.

Women, you are undateable if..

1. You like to micromanage and nag all the time. Men already have one woman in their lives that do this –their mothers. They don’t need another person in their lives to treat them like children. If you try to control a guy and nag him to death, he’ll get annoyed with you, or even worse start ignoring you.

2. You are self centered and like to only talk about yourself a lot. Relationships are about getting to know one another and finding the perfect partner. The word “partner” by its very definition means two people. If you are spending the whole time talking about yourself, you’re showing a guy that you’re not really interested in anything that they have to say. Men are often compared to children and like kids, they crave attention. If you’re not letting them have equal footing in a conversation, it won’t be long before you’re back on the couch again, watching old sit-coms.

3. You don’t take care of yourself. Men are visual creatures. Sure, once they get to know you, they’ll appreciate your intellect and personality, but the first thing they notice is appearance. If you dress like a slob, never shower, and don’t make any effort to make yourself look attractive, you’re not going to get a first date.

Men, you are undateable if…

1. You don’t have a job. Sorry. This may be the 21st century and it’s acceptable for women to be the principle bread winner in the family, but no single person wants someone living off of them. You have to have a regular paying job or it’s a deal breaker. Having too demanding a career could also have an adverse effect if you spend too much time working rather than spending any time with your girlfriend.

2. You’re married or in another relationship. Nothing is a bigger relationship killer than having another relationship on the side. If you cannot be faithful to your present partner, what can you possibly do that will make the other girl think you can behave any differently?

3. You’re jealous and crazy possessive. Sure, it can be flattering for a girl when you make a chivalrous effort to protect her honor, but there is a fine line between that and being a control freak. Relationships are about trust. If you keep being hyper-possessive, it shows your partner that you don’t trust them.

Recognizing that you are undateable is the first step to improving your love life. You have to work past your issues and learn that being in relationship requires a commitment from both parties. Making changes are hard — but you don’t have to be alone.